Struggles

It seems I dropped the ball with publishing these daily. Time to get back on track!

Today’s (March 15, 2016) Prompt: Share something you struggle with.

Like many of us, I struggle with things from time to time, and there are other things I struggle with on a daily basis, almost constantly. The thing I struggle the most with is my mental illness. As I’ve written before, I have Social Anxiety and Persistent Depressive Disorder. I (for the most part) have my anxiety managed, but my depression keeps getting the better of me continually at this point. Right now, it is especially bad because the winter season makes things worse for me. As a result, so many things on a daily basis are a struggle. 

Nothing is easy. Getting out of bed is a struggle, getting dressed is a struggle, cleaning…doing dishes… Imagine too, when you’ve finally made yourself get up to do that really difficult thing, something happens that puts a wrench in the whole thing. It all falls apart and you become a complete wreck because you’ve failed to do that one thing. And when that happens I also struggle with being a failure. Absolutely everything is more difficult when living with depression; it’s not just being sad all the time, and it’s not something that thinking positively is going to fix. Depression makes your brain a complete asshole, and fights against you at every turn. I am lucky now that with the spring weather starting to arrive, things are getting slightly easier (even though there are still bad days), along with the things I’m doing to look after myself as best as I can on a daily basis. 

I guess what I am trying to say is with mental illness, the struggle is real. It’s not something positive thinking will fix, even though in some cases it can help a bit (e.g. in managing my social anxiety). Mental illness is a disease just like other physical illnesses. Just because it isn’t outwardly visible doesn’t mean we don’t struggle on a daily basis. It’s something to consider when interacting with someone you know to be struggling with their mental health. I encourage you to give it a try. 

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