I planned to publish this post before June ended, but things have been rather crazy lately. I have two weeks of exams coming up, in which I write 3. I had interviews for a second job, which I’ve been looking for this past month and a bit. I have a possible new job orientation coming up. I’ve been studying for said exams. I’ve been ill with a nasty cold, and now possibly bronchitis. I am writing currently from our city’s urgent care facility, waiting for a chest x-ray.
I wanted to do a bit of a review of the year so far, and I even made notes about the things I wanted to talk about. Those notes are not currently handy, so I guess I will wing it a bit.
I chose 3 words to focus my year around: self-love, self-care, and creativity. All-in-all, I don’t think I’ve done a bad job of keeping them in-focus. Sure, self-care tends to fall to the wayside when I’m stressed, sick, anxious, in a depressive episode, but I think overall I have done well. I have been recognizing when I am in the midst of one of those situations and actively attempt to be kinder to myself and take better care as well. The self-love is getting easier as the year goes, and I think it is in-turn making kindness toward myself easier. This is definitely a positive as I have had a tendency in the past to beat myself up continuously over relatively minor problems or issues that pop up. Creativity has been flowing more easily this year too. A lot less feeling “stuck” and a lot more putting words on a page. I have had some excellent and supportive friends who have helped me a lot with this, and I am very appreciative. Thousands of words of my book draft have been written. THOUSANDS! “Only” a few thousand, but it’s still in the multiple thousands and I feel like that is amazing progress. I may not reach the ambitious goal of a completed draft by the end of the year, but it’s massive progress regardless because I’m ready to write it, and I am. I have no fear holding me back anymore.
As I mentioned earlier, exams are coming up starting tomorrow. I write one this week and two more next, for a total of three. I understand how ambitious this seems, but I’m actually pretty confident. I am going to pass all three of these exams, which will mean I only have ONE MORE COURSE remaining to completely my CIP designation. I have been working toward this since February 2016 and am very much looking forward to completion and no more part-time schooling! I feel like I deserve the break. I have a number of other things I would like to focus my “free” time on, including a second job, and more creative endeavours.
I have had my car for almost five months now, and I am so happy I decided to invest in a vehicle. Being mobile has simplified so many aspects of my life and I am so thankful for that. It has allowed me to be more social and feel less stuck in terms of socializing, and it has made things like grocery shopping and running errands in general much easier. I don’t know how I managed without a car for so long now.
I HAVE been struggling with my depression a lot since about March or so. I know I have mentioned it a time or two in previous posts. The cycles are deeper, though with faster recovery time. The heat takes a toll on me in a lot of unexpected ways. My tolerance for heat is low, and the sun disagrees with me in a number of ways. This has had a negative effect on me this summer and the one past especially. I’ve been trying to work through, but it doesn’t always work out. At least this year I managed to get into a pool for the first time in a large number of years.
This was a massive accomplishment for me, and one I am thankful to a friend for documenting!
Overall, 2018 has improved a great deal over 2017. Changing my focus has made a huge difference. I look forward to seeing where the rest of this year takes me.