On More Cats and (Still) Being Sick

It has been a bit of a roller coaster over the past couple of weeks, both in regard to my health and my emotions.

I have been struggling with this nasty lingering cold for the past month. Last week, I thought I’d kicked it, but nope. A nasty cough has no reared its ugly head and I’m now back to not sleeping at all well during the night. It has been a very frustrating experience overall, especially since I am so infrequently ill. I just want to be health again. It’s been over a month now! I’ve been trying to take it easy, but I am still trying to do some things, because not having a life just sucks. This weekend though, I ended up missing something I really wanted to go to, and that was disappointing. I would be very happy if that didn’t happen again. I’ve spent a lot of time playing World of Warcraft, when it doesn’t give me a headache.

The personal emotional roller coaster of the past few weeks has been intense, but not necessarily a bad experience. It has been an interesting one at the very least! A bit over two weeks ago now, a friend of mine tagged me in a photo of the cutest kitten that was up for adoption at a rescue a couple of hours away in Toronto. I investigated further and learned that he had a brother as well, and the rescue wanted to see them adopted together. Naturally, I fell in love from their photos, being the cat lover that I am. On a whim, I filled out an application to adopt them.

Over a week later, I finally got a message on Facebook asking me to call them, and I promptly returned the call and left a message as there was no answer. I called again around noon the next day and found out they had not chosen me, sadly. Because I live two hours away and it would take time for me to get there, I was declined. But it made sense to me, and I did my best to consider that possibility logically. I was disappointed, but it is what it is. It solidified my plan to adopt a second cat, but I opted to wait a little while – until the spring. In the spring, the shelters seen to have an influx of cats that need adopting, so it seems like a prime time to actively look. Funny enough, early mid last week I found another cat with potential, this time locally. I applied for him and am waiting for a response as of this post. I am hopeful, but I am not getting my hopes up too high. I will hopefully hear back about a phone interview this week sometime.

It’s Sunday night now, and I have a massive headache thanks to this cough, and I didn’t have hot water for the better part of the day. After I finish the cup of tea I have on the go, I am going to take a much-needed shower and then curl up to read for a while before bed. I am hoping that this week will be the end of this cold and cough and I can really start working on getting things back to normal.

It’s Okay… (Some Heavy Stuff)

  • To make hard decisions about what’s best for you, even if it may hurt others
  • To try to help yourself
  • To focus on your own happiness rather than that of someone else
  • To put yourself first. Period.
  • To make mistakes and learn from them
  • To not regret something that didn’t work out, even if you worked at it for a long time
  • To want more – to be the best you can be
  • That things don’t always go the way you hope or plan
  • To be nervous about starting over
  • To feel like it is time to start over
  • To be even just a little bit selfish

I recently went through a major life change. The relationship I’ve been in for the past six years came to an end and I find myself in a position of starting over again.  I’m not going to go into details, but things just weren’t working out anymore. For the past seven weeks or so, I was splitting my time between living at my mom’s house on weekends (my cat moved in with her) and a friend’s house during the week so I could continue to work. I used the time to get my practical affairs in order. My ridiculous student loan has been refinanced, my expenses and budget have been revamped, and I’ve found a new place of my own to live. I have been living here now for just over a week.  I am both excited and nervous about how things have shaped up. The logical things have been the easy part to deal with. I have been trying to get my emotional affairs in order as well. I’m “okay” now, but still learning how to be on my own emotionally, though at times I am still a bit of a wreck. I tear up at odd things, ideas, thoughts… Little things will trigger unexpected emotions. I miss things, the good things, but I guess that’s something that’s to be expected. We tend to remember more good things than bad (though, try to remember a proper compliment!). Going forward everything is going to be new to me. I’ve never actually lived completely on my own before. I’ve always had at least a roommate. As such, the place I have found is quite small. I don’t think I could handle a large space for just me and my cat right now. The location is great. It’s actually within walking distance of my job, which is incredibly convenient. Added bonus: it’s affordable. I have just about everything I need too. There are just a few minor furniture details to be ironed out.  I think I am ready for this. It’s time for me. Time to do things my way.

This past week in my new apartment has been a definite adjustment for me. I actually can’t remember the last time I was completely alone, and I have been “alone” aside from a few visitors since Tuesday night. It’s been a new experience. I have to admit I have been texting friends a lot more often than usual. I am sure they are sick of hearing from me. But I have been adjusting to my new surroundings and situation slowly but surely, as has Tobi. We are now both sleeping through the night, and our days are pretty chill. I took last week off work, and I am glad I did. Neither of us would have been ready for me to go back before Tuesday. I am learning to be alone… to live alone, to be alone, to do things on my own. I guess I am learning to fully exercise my independence at this point. For many years, I think have been afraid to. One of the many things being shoved on me that are new, that I need to get over the fear of. Slowly but surely, I seem to be gaining a bit of confidence. I hope that now I am back to work, Tobi and I will settle into a new routine and I will become more comfortable with things as they are now.

I am ready for fresh new and exciting things to come in the future. I hope to share those things as they come along. Hello, new life.